I Climbed a Mountain, and Other Things.

Ya’hearrrrd me. I climbed a 14,110ft mountain this weekend with pals M&M and B. The adventure started with a drunken plan hatched by M&M and I about a week ago, and B decided to drive down from the bustling metropolis of Denver to join in on the fun. After watching our Hawks dominate, hatching a devious plan to make Pikes Peak our bitch, and playing a lively game of Naked Photo Hunt, we got after it. We planned on taking off around sunrise, which is about 7am. Right.

Awful morning person that I am (as in, don’t talk to me if you’d like to keep your fingers), I got myself out of bed after five or fewer hours of sleep and started getting ready. I went to the nearest 24-hour Wal-mart after work the night before to get a new backpack and some super-attractive men’s hiking boots. I looked gooood, if you’re the Brawny Man. I received a text from B the next morning saying that she hadn’t gotten to sleep until 3am (silly girls stayed up watching Something Borrowed—of course they couldn’t sleep! Nightmare!) and she was having second thoughts about climbing a fourteener (that’s a 14,000+ foot mountain, for those of you less rugged and outdoorsy than we are) after so little rest. So we agreed we’d all go back to bed until 8am, and they’d be at my place around 9am.

So, the girls got to my place around 10am. We didn’t start the hike until 11am. Not a brilliant idea. We started off pretty awesome actually—hiking two miles up a mountain in less than an hour. After lunch, though, we got into the more scenic areas of the rock, and of course had to stop and take a picture or hundreds. It was pretty amazing trekking on and looking back to see how far we’d come… unfortunately, when we got above the ridgeline, it was easier to see how far we had left to go. By the way, B had NEVER been on a real hike before in her life—grrrl’s either crazy or BA. Or both. (:

The stretch right before Devil’s Playground was pretty tough. The steep incline was intense and there were no rocks or any other form of traction. There was also a stretch of trail that literally dropped off within two feet—one misstep and you meet your rocky death in a 127 hour-style bloodbath. I’m just saying. Anywho, after Devil’s Playground it got all boulder-y and stuff and we ran into a nice young couple (I don’t know if the two dudes were actually a couple, but they are for this story) that began commiserating with B, who had started second-guessing her life choices. Conversation:

1^st half of Cute Asian Couple: How are you guys in such good shape? This sucks.
B: I’m literally contemplating suicide!
Bai: Well, I feel like that’s maybe a little dramatic.
B: No it’s not! I’M SERIOUS!

In her defense, we had hit another patch of incline that made our quads burn worse than a scenario in a bad romance novel, and the Peak looked pretty far away. As we continued our journey to the top, B continued to mutter hilarious one-liners about how this was the worst idea she ever had, she was going to die on the mountain, vultures were circling, etc. But haters be damed! Homegirl made it all the way to the top without becoming vulture-food—I did not have to climb back down and get her and she even beat the cute Asian man-couple who had supposedly climbed 11 fourteeners. Mmmhmmm. I should mention that 2^nd half thought there were mountains in Iowa. So….. grain of salt.

After climbing through rocks with no trail and nothing to guide us but stacked rocks called “cairns,” I finally saw a guard rail. We made it! M asked if I was close enough to hit it with a snowball. I said if I was Brian Wilson, I could. When the rocks ended, I was so excited I scurried up the mud-sand Exorcist-style and collapsed to the ground when I realized we still had a ways to go. Sometimes I’m a little too optimistic for my own good. But, tired and covered in mud, we indeed conquered the Peak. We were all pretty proud of ourselves for defeating our first fourteener on a very warm October Sunday. I mean, we climbed a mother-effing mountain!! Warning: it’s actually super-duper addictive. I cannot wait to do it again, but since it’s already snowy, thunderstorm-y, and freezing cold on top of most of the mountains, that will have to wait until another year.

In other news… that isn’t the only awesome thing about life lately. I found a j-o-b! I start working at the kiddie-hospital next week, and I think it’s going to feel pretty good to do something that’s actually directly helping someone for once. The only school option I’ve considered other than law school has been getting my masters in international health, so perhaps this will help me make my decision. Pretty effing stoked, y’all.

So that was numero uno on my get-your-shit together list. I’ve been working—and running—towards number two and I signed up for my first 5k Halloween weekend! Of course, remembering that Halloween is my favorite holiday EVAH and that weekend will likely be an epic boozefest, I wouldn’t expect records, but IT STILL COUNTS. I also bought some CrossFit classes on Living Social because they were super cheap and I apparently enjoy extreme physical pain and public humiliation. I’ll keep you posted.

I also de-cluttered and deep-cleaned my apartment and hosted my first party (during which we drank spiked slushies and watched the disappointing shit-show that was the Glee premiere)—I even got rid of my ancient mattress! I recycled it! It was only supposed to cost $10, but a funny thing happened: I put it on my porch and made an appointment for the dude to pick it up and collect the cash from me, but I woke up in the morning and it had magically disappeared! Translation: dude felt so bad that I’d been sleeping on a pile of springs like a homeless person that he decided to trash it fo’ free.

Also, I removed “move to Denver” from my list for now. I love my apartment—it’s cheap and it’s perfect for me, plus I’d miss the mountains and hiking in the mornings and finding bears in my trees. Instead, I’ve added the goal to give up soda! Okay, cut back on soda. But I’m keeping my morning coffee. If I quit that shit cold-turkey AND gave up caffeine altogether, I would kill everyone. Annnd I am working with a couple of friends to start a new young-professionals group (round two) and make Colorado Springs a little more fun for those of us who aren’t all Bible-thumpy.

In short, I’ve already got my list about half-way done and it’s only been a week! I mean, I’m getting back into shape, I’ve stopped being a twitchy, caffeine-addicted hoarder, and I climbed a fucking MOUNTAIN. October’s such a busy month that I may just lose my shit all over again, but for the time being I’ve got it together and I’m one of those assholes that loves her life and can’t stop smiling about it. Suck it, Mr. Krabs!

Now please excuse me while I drink Bailey’s and coffee and watch Tangled at an obscene volume. I’m trying to vindicate my neighbors’ suspicions that I’m crazy. PEACE.